Infertility: You are not alone

Infertility: You are not alone

How many of your friends know you have been trying for a while with no success? Have you shared with your inner circle the challenges of your fertility journey? If not, why are you keeping this a secret?

What if not sharing is a reason why you feel so alone in this journey? This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and in honor of this week, I want to support you in finding support! 

In this Fertility TV episode, I talk about why keeping your infertility a secret is not doing you any good. Here are my three tips on how to not feel alone in your infertility.

1. You are not alone

A patient recently told me about an infertility post her friend shared via Facebook.

The friend wrote a long post about her struggles getting pregnant, about the many miscarriages she had and how hard this time has been for her. My patient was shocked because she too had been going through a similar journey as her and they would have never known without opening up about it.

I asked my patient how she felt when she saw the post and she said… “I felt relief. Relieved to know I’m not the only one. I felt relieved with all the “likes and comments” her friend had on her post.” I followed up by asking my patient if she was ready to share with her community and she quickly answered “no”.

She pressed on to tell me that she doesn’t want anyone to find out she is having a hard time getting pregnant. We shank a little deeper into this feeling and agreed that as part of her treatment plan, she had to call the friend who posted to chat. This patient has me and my team as her support. She is able to open up to us and the community we have, but it made me think about others who do not have this support.

What if she didn’t have this support? What if she wasn’t getting my help and going through these challenges alone?

2. Share your story

How many of you reading this have been struggling and are not telling anyone?

We are humans and we need that connection and support from those around us; through both the good times and the bad. I believe that many of you don’t share your story because you are ashamed of your struggles. I am here to tell you that you have nothing to be ashamed about.  You are on a journey and you never know how your experience can help empower and inspire another woman in a similar place in her journey. The process of sharing your story can be very therapeutic and healing, for you and for those receiving it.

3. Create your fertility tribe

Your friends will not judge you and they don’t feel bad for you; they just want to help you and support you.  Maybe they know someone who can help. Maybe they are going through the same thing you are like the patient I mentioned earlier.  Now you can support each other. The support you get from your “female tribe” and the women around you is going to be different than the support you get from your husband or partner.  We need both kinds of support.

How do you stick to the commitment you made on this journey? How do you hold yourself accountable to making the changes that you say you want to make when trying to get pregnant? This is where your tribe can help and this is where accountability is needed. If you need help with staying accountable even with the support of your tribe, check out “How to Stay Accountable when trying to get pregnant”. 

In honor of NIAW, I want you to get support from someone who doesn’t know what you’re going through.  Reach out this week to someone and post a comment below to let me know about your experience.