3 tips for men: how to be there for your wife during IVF

Have you thought that all of the preparation for IVF should be the sole responsibility of your wife? Think again. Keep reading and find out what you can do to prepare for your next IVF cycle.

Tip 1: Be more supportive of your wife

IVF cycles can create emotional distance in relationships, cause emotional strains, and even break up a relationship if there isn’t enough support for one another’s needs throughout the whole process. The high expectations and the disappointments can both cause a strain to even the strongest of relationships. It can be a common time for the men to check out. Women need to be able to rely on your emotional support during IVF treatment. You don’t necessarily have to do anything, just be present and a good listener. Be there, by her side, to listen to her needs and show her that you are empathetic to how she’s feeling.

It can be something as simple as a hug, holding her hand, or letting her cry on your shoulder to show that you understand. Helping to boost her self-esteem that’s taken a hit from not being able to conceive naturally. Consciously expressing your admiration for her and your gratitude towards her for doing this for the both of you. Try to be a part of the process as much as you can and make the effort to be well researched in the fertility treatments you are both going through. You will both feel the benefits of having a mutual understanding of your options and what you can afford.

Tip 3: Communication is key

Similar to tip one, which emphasised the importance of being supportive, encouraging open communication is key for both of you to get through IVF treatment. Good communication is super important for every relationship in order for it to be a healthy one – especially when you’re going through something like IVF together. That’s why it’s equally as important that you’re expressing your own thoughts and emotions to your wife throughout treatment as well as listening to, and supporting her, with hers.

It’s inevitable that you will fight. The pressure of not being able to have a family will be weighted on the both of you and. But, how you deal with this pressure and the heavy emotions that come with it is up to the both of you. Turn the negative conversations that turn into fights into constructive conversations. Try to understand each others needs and why you’re both feeling that way.

Blame each other less and stop comparing your situation to other couples going through the same thing. While having the support of others going through the same situation is good for support and understanding, if it starts to feel negative or bring you down, then it is no longer serving you and has instead become toxic.

Bonus tip: Show up to the appointments

Finally, be with your wife as much as you can at your fertility appointments. Most women go to these things alone. This is your child too – so show up and be there.

If you can’t make it to all of them, then make sure you’re going to the big appointments and any appointments with new fertility doctors. You are a TEAM. And you’re both in this together.

For more information about IVF and fertility, make sure to join our newsletter.

 It’s time for her to Conquer her IVF

Having other women to talk to who are also going through the ups and downs of IVF can be really helpful, supportive and comforting. While being able to talk openly with family and friends is also huge, being connected to people who are going through the same thing reaches a unique level of understanding.

That’s why I’ve created an IVF Support Group and Group Coaching to bring people together and guide you on your IVF Journey. With our monthly subscription, you will have access to more than 30 online tutorials and 2x group coaching calls a month where you can connect with other like-minded couples while receiving the guidance and support you need to take you through your whole IVF journey. Sign up to our waiting list for Conquering IVF.