Get Pregnant Over 40 – How to avoid egg donation (REAL CASE)
Dr. Marc Sklar:
If you are here, I’m afraid you may have been told that you need to use donor egg. And that’s such a hard thing to hear. It’s something none of us ever want to hear. Coming to the place where you have to make a decision to use donor egg is always difficult. Donor egg may be the best and maybe the only option for many. But what if I told you it might not be and you might be able to use your own eggs to get pregnant naturally? That’s exactly what happened to one of the members in my Hope Coaching Program. She was told that she needed to use donor egg, and that was really the only option that she had. She joined the program, we supported her and worked with her, and she was able to have her own biological child.
So this is the story that I want to share with all of you today. I want to restore hope in your ability to conceive your own child. This is the exact story we’re going to hear today. I want to share her story with all of you, because if you’ve been told that donor is your own option, I want you to see that there are other possibilities. So let’s hear from her.
My name is Dr. Marc Sklar, also known as The Fertility Expert, and I’ve been working with couples for over 19 years through my online coaching programs and right here in San Diego at my clinic. And this conversation of should I or shouldn’t I go towards donor is one that we have on a regular basis. And that answer is not the same for everybody. But for this story, it was different. I did believe that she was able to get pregnant without going towards donor. And that’s exactly what she was able to do, so let’s learn from her right now.
My husband and I had started trying to conceive right after my 35th birthday. We got pregnant very quickly and then had a miscarriage. We lost the baby around eight weeks.
Dr. Marc Sklar:
So I want to stop here and just make a comment. Often we’re told after we’ve had a miscarriage that it’s because of some chromosomal abnormality, and because of that you should start looking at donor egg. And this happens very often. This conversation happens very often if you are 40 or older. And yes, is it common or more common to get pregnant and have some sort of abnormality when you are older? Yes, it is. But it doesn’t mean that every pregnancy is going to be an abnormal pregnancy. It doesn’t mean that just because you’ve had one loss that was potentially due to some sort of chromosomal abnormality, it doesn’t mean that every pregnancy’s going to turn out the same and that’s the only option you have is to go towards donor egg. So I do want to put some different perspective on that for all of you, so that you can see that there are other options, potentially, to get to the results that you’re looking for, and it doesn’t always have to be donor.
Tried to get pregnant on our own for about another six months. Specifically because of our ages, and we wanted to make sure that we had everything going for us, I went to Shady Grove. They called me and told me that I would never have biological children, because I can remember my world falling down around me when they told me I’d never have biological children.
Dr. Marc Sklar:
It’s so hard to be told that you’re never going to have your own biological child. It’s so difficult. And there is nothing wrong with also using donor egg. I want put that out there. But it doesn’t mean that making that transition, that leap, is easy. It’s not. Now, I do think that when we are going to a lot of the more conventional style IVF clinics, like she was at, that that’s exactly what you’re going to hear. They see age, they see maybe one miscarriage, or sometimes even none and they just see your age, and they say that it’s not possible, you’re not ever going to have your own biological child.
One of the things that we have to do when this happens is, first and foremost, we need to block them out. We need to put their thoughts out of our head and we need to start retraining our mind to forget what they said and believe in ourselves and what we were meant to do. That’s number one. Number two is we need a different perspective. Just because that’s that doctor or that clinic’s feelings and belief for you, doesn’t mean that that is actually real. It means that they have exhausted all of their efforts. That for their tools, what they’re able to provide for you, they are not able to help you get pregnant without donor egg. That’s what it means. It’s not really a reflection on you all the time. It’s often a reflection of the capabilities and style of the clinic. Yet, what you’re told is that it’s you. That it’s not them, it’s you. Right?
And so, I want you all to hear that again, this is not about you, often. This is about the capabilities and style of the doctor or clinic that you are working with and what they can do for you. And in this case, it means they have exhausted all of their options for you. And if you want to continue to work with them, then you need to use donor. That’s the translation of what she was told.
When you told me that’s not true, that was huge for me, for us.
Dr. Marc Sklar:
I told her it wasn’t true. I told her that I didn’t believe what they told her was true.
We did a frozen embryo transfer. Here we are [inaudible 00:05:14], biologic baby.
Dr. Marc Sklar:
And so, she was. She was able to conceive and have her own biological child after we supported her and gave her the plan that she needed. Also, this can’t be ignored. She started to believe in herself. When we told her we thought that she could still get pregnant, that is what turned the key. It restored her hope and belief in herself and what she could accomplish. And that is also true for many of you. That it can happen. Just because you’re told you’re either too old or your eggs are no good, that you need to use donor, doesn’t make it true, doesn’t make it real. It’s true for that doctor and that physician, but it doesn’t have to be true for you. And I want all of you to really take that to heart.
But if you don’t get a different perspective, if you don’t get a different thought on your case, with a different path to find real answers and dig deep to help you get to the root issues, you won’t have a different result. So, I really want to encourage you all to speak to someone who has a different take, who can approach your case with new eyes and new perspective. Maybe they do have the same feeling, but at least they’ve been able to evaluate you from a different vantage point and you can have real information about what you need to do.
So, if you’ve been trying for too long, if you’ve been told that you need donor and there’s no other option, but you don’t want to take that as the real answer and you want to see if there are other possibilities for you, then I want to invite you to join my Hope Fertility Coaching Program. Because this is where we could look at your case and give you a different perspective, a different understanding for what we see that could be the key to help you get pregnant with your own biological child. If you would like that, then I want to invite you to apply by using the link in the description below.
What was impactful about this video? What did you learn? What changed your mind about yourself and fertility that you learned in this video? Comment below and let me know. If you like this video, give me a thumbs up. If you’re not already a subscriber to my YouTube channel, I want to invite you to subscribe by hitting that bell and subscribing. You’ll also get notified when I put out a new video for all of you as well. And until the next video, stay fertile.