What if I need a donor egg? – EXPERT tips to improve your changes ✅ [REAL TESTIMONIAL]

What if I need a donor egg? – EXPERT tips to improve your changes ✅ [REAL TESTIMONIAL]

What if I need a donor egg? – EXPERT tips to improve your changes ✅  [REAL TESTIMONIAL]

Transcription :

Marc Sklar:

Should I be doing IVF or should I use donor egg, and what does it all mean? So we’re going to get into that today by listening to Shelly’s story. Shelly was 45 when she joined my Hope Coaching program and when she had decided to use donor egg moving forward. When she actually joined my program she had already done an embryo transfer with a donor egg once, but it was not successful. So she wanted additional support, she wanted to make sure that the next time she did it, that it was going to be successful.

Marc Sklar:

Now I know that many of you might be thinking, but Mark, aren’t you a natural fertility expert, and why are we talking about donor eggs and IVF when you believe that everybody should be able to get pregnant naturally? Now yes, I do believe that many of us move towards IVF prematurely, or that many of us don’t even need it, but we do end up going that direction for various reasons. Because of that, the reality is is that for many donor egg is the right choice, and for Shelly at 45, it absolutely was the right choice. So if you’re considering moving forward with a donor egg cycle, or an IVF cycle regardless, even if you’re using your own eggs, which I hope will be the case for many of you, then I think listening to Shelly’s story will be really beneficial and helpful for all of you. So let’s get listening.

Marc Sklar:

But wait, before we do that, I do have to give a quick shout out to this week’s sponsor for Fertility TV, which is Fairhaven Health. Fairhaven Health makes this wonderful product called FH Pro for Women, and they actually just released a new research study specifically on FH Pro for Women that showed that women who took this product for at least 90 days before an IVF cycle saw a 54% success rate in comparison to those who didn’t in the control group and saw a 35% success rate. So if you are thinking about moving forward with IVF, you want a little boost, this is the product that you should be checking out. I’m going to leave the link in the description below.

Marc Sklar:

My name is Dr. Marc Sklar, also known as the fertility expert, and welcome to Fertility TV, your YouTube channel dedicated to helping you get pregnant. I’ve been working with couples for over 18 years through my online coaching programs, and right here in sunny San Diego at both of my clinics. And a question that often comes up is, should I be doing IVF or should I use donor egg, and what does it all mean? So we’re going to get into that today by listening to Shelly’s story, and I’m going to press pause throughout and give you my interpretation and explanation on what she was going through and what we were able to do for her. Again, she was part of my Hope Fertility coaching program, and we guided her through every step of the process.

Shelly:

I have been following Mark on YouTube for quite a while, and really just felt like everything that he said made sense, and I was so interested in having a consult with him. And we had started IVF after, we were married two years ago, and I’m 45, so I was much older trying to have baby. And we went to the IVF clinic, we decided that we would just give it a try, but I had to use donor egg because I was older. And at first we were extremely disappointed about that, but after looking into it more, and we started doing some studying about epigenetics and how the genetic carrier influences gene expression, we felt better about it, that I would still have an influence on the baby, so we decided we’d be okay with that.

Marc Sklar:

And so I do want to mention a couple things here. So she said that when she went to the IVF clinic that she was told that she had to use donor egg. First and foremost, I don’t really believe that any of us need to be told how we need to have children, I think that really needs to be recommendations, and even though it was the right decision for Shelly, it might not be the right decision for all of you. And even though you may have been told that you need donor egg, it doesn’t mean that that’s absolutely the case, and I would encourage you, if that doesn’t sit right with you, to get a second opinion, speak to somebody else to see if that is really the path.

Marc Sklar:

Now for Shelly, and for many of you, maybe one of the biggest concerns when we’re going to make that decision about donor egg is the genetic influence. How is that baby going to be part of me and my husband, and will we feel very differently about that child? I want to encourage all of you to understand a couple of key things, that every time I speak to parents who have had children from donor egg or donor sperm, for that matter, none of them ever tell me that they don’t feel connected to that child, it is theirs for sure. And carrying that child for nine, 10 plus months, being able to pass on some of your genetic makeup during the pregnancy, which is absolutely the case and exactly what she was talking about through that comment about epigenetics, and if she would actually be able to have some genetic influence over that child, that’s when it happens, it happens in utero during the pregnancy.

Marc Sklar:

So you will pass on some of your genetic makeup to that child during that pregnancy, even though it’s a small percentage, it is a percentage. And just the mere fact that you are carrying that baby, feeding it, nourishing it, giving it all the love and support that you need during the pregnancy, that is so valuable for your connection to the baby, and for the health and safety of that child. So I want you all to know, I’m not saying it’s an easy decision, but I want you all to know that everybody always feels connected. They feel like that child is theirs, and that is really no longer a question moving forward.

Shelly:

So we gave it one try and we were very disappointed, unfortunately we only had one embryo and it wasn’t very good quality, and I did get pregnant, but just briefly, and I had something called chemical pregnancy, I guess, or blighted ovum, something like that, and we were just crushed. We only had one embryo, we didn’t think we were going to get a chance to try again. So that was when we decided we needed to make a change. I had been following Mark, and it had been in the back of my mind, we really wanted his advice on how to proceed because we didn’t want to go through all that expense again.

Marc Sklar:

So just because she went through IVF, and just because she used donor egg, doesn’t mean that there was a guarantee that the cycle was going to be successful, and her first cycle wasn’t. And so that’s when she wanted to make sure that she was getting the proper guidance for her case so that they didn’t experience that again, and that’s when she joined my program.

Shelly:

I was so surprised at the group call because I was expecting just to be on a group call listening and not really get a chance to have such personal attention, but with the very first session he gave every single couple a chance to talk and have personal attention, and I never felt rushed or felt like I didn’t get my questions answered, I was just amazed. And then he gave us specific advice over email as well if we thought of something in between, and he was so responsive to all of our questions. So he gave us an exact plan to follow with nutrition and with supplements, we followed his recommendation to wait three months and make those changes for three months.

Marc Sklar:

So just like she was saying, just because you joined my program room with lots of other couples, doesn’t mean that you’re going to get the personalized attention and care that you deserve and need, and just because some of my program is in a group format setting doesn’t mean that you’re not going to get the attention or time to have your questions answered, and that’s exactly what she was able to get. But more importantly, she was able to get the proper steps and plan to move forward. What dietary changes she needed to make, how much time to wait, what supplements she needed to start taking, and how to move forward with the next IVF cycle.

Marc Sklar:

So one of the biggest keys here was that I felt like she needed some time before the next transfer cycle, and she needed that time because she needed the time to lay the foundational work, so I asked her to give us three months before her next IVF cycle. Just because you’re moving forward with IVF doesn’t, again, mean that it’s a guarantee, and so in her case we wanted to make sure that everything was going to be right, and that took a little bit of time.

Marc Sklar:

More importantly for Shelly, she had a lot of questions about the IVF procedure. What was the best protocol, how to move forward, when was the right timing, how to incorporate the different supplements and diet into the whole process? So we spent a lot of our plan and conversations really talking about the IVF process, the preparation time, and how we needed to incorporate those changes she was making to move forward. These things are complicated, they’re detailed, and they take some nuance and attention to be able to create the proper plan for each individual, in her case it was no different. So when she joined the program we needed to get a full history to be able to create that proper plan, and that’s where we started with her.

Shelly:

First time we tried was November, and then the second time we did IVF again was in March, and I’m currently pregnant, 12 weeks, with our little boy.

Marc Sklar:

Yay.

Shelly:

And we’re so excited. We actually have three embryos total this time, and they were all good quality, hatching blastocyst, they think that all three of them were equal good quality, so we tried and it worked this time, and we are just so thrilled and so happy. And so we’re continuing with Mark’s recommendation for the vitamin supplements during pregnancy, and-

Marc Sklar:

Yeah, just because she was pregnant, and we have to remember she had an early loss in the last pregnancy, it doesn’t mean that everything changes and stops, we’ve got to make sure we have a healthy pregnancy, so she’s continuing through her first trimester and probably beyond for many of the things we started her on.

Shelly:

Just are so thankful for joining the group and being able to have that support all through this time.

Marc Sklar:

So that group setting is really valuable. I know many of you actually believe that you’re not the right fit for a group program but I want to tell you, for most of you it’s actually the right thing. We need some private attention, and we need some group support, and my program encompasses it all. So you get both the private attention with that one-on-one consult with me and my team for us to get a better understanding for your case, but also you get the support of a group to build you up, to pick you up, to keep you up, and to support you throughout the program, and throughout all of it you still get your personalized attention and support regardless of what process you’re going through to get pregnant and what support you need.

Marc Sklar:

And I should mention that just because we do our weekly calls in a group setting doesn’t mean you don’t get one on one time. Just like Shelly mentioned, she got specific focused time during our group calls for her individual one-on-one needs, and that’s what we do on a weekly basis for everybody who joins the program. And another key piece for her was time. She took a step back, she gave herself three months to prepare, with our guidance, to get the results that she was able to get, and that’s really important for many of us. We can’t always just trudge forward and push on forward without making changes. If we continue to do the same things over and over we’re just going to end up in the same place, we need to make changes and then we need to give ourselves the time for those changes to really take hold in our body, and that’s what she was able to do.

Marc Sklar:

So I have nothing against IVF, and I absolutely have nothing against donor cycles, but Shelly reached out to me when she was 45. Imagine if she would’ve reached out to me when she was 40, or even maybe a year or two earlier in her case, where we could have had a little bit of time to support her needs to address the underlying issues, maybe she would’ve even been able to conceive with her own eggs. I don’t know, and the reality is right now I don’t care, I’m just so happy for her to have the results that she was able to get. But sometimes we need to move forward, sometimes we need to get more support sooner rather than later. So I want to encourage you all, don’t keep waiting to make changes and get a different result, get the support you need now so that you can make changes now and hopefully get the results that you’re looking for sooner.

Marc Sklar:

So here are my key takeaways from Shelly’s story and this video, but before I get there I want to hear from all of you, what was valuable for you from hearing Shelly’s story? What did you take away? Comment below and let me know. Point number one, there are things that you should consider and do before you make the choice to move forward with donor egg. Even though donor egg was the right choice for Shelly, it might not be the right choice for you, and more importantly, I believe you all deserve a chance to get pregnant naturally, but it’s going to be hard without a customized specific personalized plan for your specific needs.

Marc Sklar:

Point number two, IVF is just fine and necessary for many of you, but it might not be the right choice for all of, and some of you might be going in that direction a little bit prematurely. So get another opinion or two from other doctors who are not in the IVF process ,and from some who actually are, get all the information you can so that you can make the most informed decision and the best choices for what you want to achieve in the timeframe that you want to achieve it. I do recommend that part of that consultation, or some of the people you should speak to, are natural fertility experts as well, so that you get a different perspective and you can take all of your options into account.

Marc Sklar:

Point number three, your eggs are not the only variable to consider when moving forward with egg donor. We want to make sure the sperm are healthy, we want to make sure that you’re uterine environment is healthy, and we want to make sure that you’re on the right path to get the results that you need. So take a step back and take a comprehensive look at what is going on on your fertility journey so that you can get a successful cycle as quickly as possible. Point number four, if you’re older, if you’re 45, or 44 or 46, be open to donor egg options, because it might be the best choice for you and might be the path that you need to get the results that you want. And point number five, if you are going down the road of a donor cycle, prepare your body so that it’s as ready and as strong as it can be to make sure that implantation happens and that you have a successful cycle the first time.

Marc Sklar:

If you want to find out if you have other options, or if you just want support on your fertility journey, whether it’s IVF, donor cycle, or natural, then I want to invite you to apply to join my Hope Fertility coaching program to see if we can support you on your journey. Use the link in the description below to apply. All right, so if you like this video and found it valuable, give me a thumbs up. Also, I want to hear from all of you, comment below and let me know your thoughts on your fertility journey or Shelly’s story. If you’re not already a subscriber to my YouTube channel, then I want you to subscribe, so hit that button to subscribe and get notified when I put out a new video for all of you. And until the next video, stay fertile.

 

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