Thanksgiving and Trying to Get Pregnant
So imagine this, it’s the holidays, you’re at dinner with family or close friends, and the ever looming question that always gets asked, gets asked, which is, “When are you going to have children? Have you guys started trying?” It’s the question we all dread, we don’t want to hear and we don’t want to talk about. Well, I want to give you some tips, some tools and some words that you can use when you’re put in this situation. It’s a great conversation, one you definitely don’t want to have and you dread when the holidays roll around. Well, I want to help you answer that question, so keep watching so that I can support you during the holidays.
Welcome to Fertility TV, your YouTube channel dedicated to everything fertility and helping you get pregnant. If you’re new here, I’m Dr. Marc Sklar, a natural fertility expert, and I help couples from all over the world with my online programs and consultations. In this video, we’re going to be covering several things and I want to make sure I give you a brief recap to help you understand what’s coming in this video.
Number one, how to deal with the holidays and that ever looming question, “When are you going to have children or start trying to get pregnant?” Number two, why you should be thankful this holiday season, and especially if you’ve been diagnosed, and I know this might sound crazy, with low AMH, or high FSH, or poor ovarian reserve, where you’ve been struggling with all sorts of different things related to your health and fertility, and you have not been grateful for it, I’m going to tell you why you should be. And number three, why I believe hope always wins.
Before we get started, just a brief announcement, my online course to help you get pregnant is open for enrollment. Here are just a few comments from current members of the positive pregnancy method program. For the rest of the year, I’m offering all of you $100 discount off of the program, because I want to see you take control of your fertility and make changes now. So if you want to change your fertility luck, then use the link below in the description to get started and get a headstart on your 2021 pregnancy.
All right, so now let’s get started into these three key areas that I think are really important as we head into the holiday season and wrapping up 2020. All right, so I wrote down some notes and I’ve got those right in front of me, so if you see me look down from time to time, that’s exactly why.
So number one, this is really never the conversation we want to have quite frankly, at any time of year, especially during the holidays. None of us want to walk into a holiday dinner, or meal, or engagement with family and friends and just, we’re always holding our breath, waiting for them to ask that question. “So when are you going to get pregnant? Why haven’t you had children yet?” Is it really any of their business? Most of us just don’t want to have this conversation, it’s too personal, it’s too emotional, and we really don’t want to talk about it with just anybody, even if they’re close family or friends.
But I want to invite all of you to take a different perspective on this question and this sort of holding in and avoiding this conversation. I want us all to take a different thought or perspective when it comes to this conversation. It’s really important that the only person you speak to is not your partner or your husband, we need to have this conversation with other people.
Now, I’m not suggesting that we go and shout this from the rooftops that we’re having this conversation with everybody. Clearly, it’s personal, it’s emotional, it’s private, and you shouldn’t be having this conversation with just anyone who walks down the street. But I do think we need to have this conversation with more people than just your partner, because it can get difficult for communication between the two of you, and we often need somebody else to share our feelings with, we often communicate those things differently and express ourselves in different ways to different people. And your partner shouldn’t always be that person that you’re hanging on for this sort of thing, because they’re already there in so many other ways when it comes to your relationship and your fertility journey that we do need support from other individuals.
So I want to encourage all of you to actually use this as an opportunity to speak about what’s been bothering you, to speak about your private situation as it comes to your fertility journey and to bring some other people into the fold. But I’ve got three tips that I want you to take away before you have this conversation.
One, you set the ground rules. Let them know that this conversation is difficult, it’s personal, it’s private, it’s an emotional thing for you, and you don’t want to have this conversation all the time, you want to be the person who dictates when this conversation gets brought up.
Number two, let them know that you’re not bringing up this conversation because you want guidance or suggestions, you have somebody for that, actually that’s me, right? I’m here to support you on what you should be doing on your fertility journey to get the best results, but you need your friends, your family to be that emotional person that you can rely on, that shoulder that you can cry on, that person you can hug when you need a good hug, that’s what you need them for, not for that extra guidance and support and suggestions, because that’s exactly what they’re going to want to do.
As soon as you tell them what you’re going through, they’re going to say, “Well, I have somebody who does this. I think you should do that.” That’s not why you’re reaching out to them, that’s not why you’re having this conversation with them. You need them to be a person that they can rely on emotionally and someone that they know will listen to them when they need to just talk.
So you’re setting the guidelines. Number one, it’s on your terms, let them know how personal and emotional this is. Number two, you’re not going to them for that specific guidance and suggestions, you have somebody for that. You want them to be that shoulder that you can cry on. And number three, you want to be in charge of when you have this conversation. You don’t want them to bring it up because they don’t know what you’re going through, and they don’t know when you really need that support, so it needs to be on your terms.
So you’ve got to set these guidelines for them. These are your three rules and you don’t mean to be controlling when it comes to that, but this is your journey, this is your struggle, you need to be in charge of how and when you have this conversation and you don’t want to talk about it all the time, just when you need.
All right, point number two, being thankful for the difficulties, and struggles, and the journey that you’re on. I know this sounds so strange. I’m sure all of you are being like, “What is Marc talking about? Why is he saying that I should be thankful for my low AMH, because I’m definitely not, or my high FSH, because I wish it would just come down.” But the reality is that you should be, you should be thankful for this. You should be thankful that you now know what needs to be treated, and you should be thankful that you now have an opportunity to make the changes, to see the proper results that you’re looking for.
If you didn’t have the information to know that your FSH was too high, or your AMH was too low, or whatever condition it is that you’re struggling with, then you would just go on living the life you’ve been living and doing the things that you’ve been doing that have gotten you to this point in time. The reality is you now have an opportunity and you need to look at this as an opportunity. This is an opportunity to make changes, to live a healthier life and to make a positive influence on your relationship and your body so that you can live a better, healthier life in the future and create a better environment for the baby that you’re trying to create.
So if you were already having a bad lifestyle, you weren’t exercising, you weren’t eating right, you weren’t doing all the right things, and then you go and have a child, you’re creating a environment that is going to thrive in those negative situations. We want to reverse that, and this is an opportunity to do that. We all have opportunities in our lives, we all have chances to make changes, and this is your big wake-up call, this is the time that you need to recognize that, “I can’t just keep doing what I’ve been doing, I need to make changes now so that I can live a healthier life now, create a better reproductive system so that I can get pregnant and create a better, healthier environment to grow a healthy thriving baby.”
You should also be thankful because now you know that you need to be stronger, you need to have a bigger willpower, you need to have more patience with yourself and you need to know that you can do this. So you need to be thankful for all of these things, because this is an opportunity for you to grow and be a better person and be stronger on the other end.
In addition to being thankful for that, I do want you to look back at 2020 and find the things that you can be thankful for. I know it’s been a hard year, and it’s been a hard year for the entire world. We’ve all been struggling with all sorts of difficulties and it’s been a struggle for sure, but we can all find positive things in the midst of this darkness. I want you to create a list of what you’re thankful for in 2020. It can be a small list or it can be a big list, but it’s your list.
So I want you to take the time to make this list and find the things that you’re grateful for. I’m sure that you’re grateful for your partner, that you now have them in your life. I’m also sure that in the midst of this pandemic, you can be grateful for being able to slow down just a little bit more and focus on some of the things that you’ve never been able to, but now you have been. And those are just a couple of things that you can be grateful for and thankful for as we move into Thanksgiving and the holiday season, so I want you to create your list for that.
And number three, which might very well be the most important one is never lose hope. Hope is the one driving force that keeps us going in the midst of the darkness, in the midst of all the struggles, all the ups and downs, you maintaining your hope and your belief in yourself, in your reproductive systems, in your fertility, in your relationships is what keeps you going and makes it possible. That’s why I have that right there, because it’s such a powerful word and can be even more powerful for you if you really take it to heart and make it true for yourself.
I know there are all sorts of negative things going on in the world and possibly even your life, and it’s really easy to focus on those negative things, but I want you to take the time to focus on all the positives and create hope for yourself. If you have not already listened to the many stories of hope that I’ve created for all those couples that I’ve helped to support who have achieved the results that they’ve been looking for, then I want to encourage you to do that to so that you can restore the hope in yourself and your fertility. I’m going to leave the link for that in the description below, so you can check it out if you haven’t done so already.
I hope this video leaves you feeling a little bit better about the holidays, yourself and what the future holds for you. I want to hear from all of you, please comment below, let me know which one of these three points you found to be the most powerful for you as we enter the holiday seasons.
I’m working on a fertility holiday gift guide for you that I’m going to be releasing next week, and these are going to be some gifts that I believe you’re going to find very useful that you can gift to yourself or somebody else you love that needs help on their fertility journey, but I’m going to be releasing it in my newsletter. It’s going to be part of my newsletter. So if you’re not already part of my newsletter, then you’ve got to be part of it, and you’ve got to join to get that list. And to do so, it’s really easy, just go to marcsklar.com/newsletter or use the link below in description.
In the meantime, here are some other videos that I think you’re going to find useful on your fertility journey. You can check those out right here. Until the next video, I want you all to say, stay safe, stay healthy, and most of all, stay fertile. And if I don’t get a chance to talk to all of you before the holidays, happy holidays.