How to stay positive month after month
Hi, I’m Dr. Marc Sklar, the fertility expert, and welcome to Fertility TV. In this episode, we’re going to talk about something that’s near and dear to my heart, which is how to stay positive month after month when you keep getting failed cycles.
I work with couples from all over the world helping them get pregnant naturally through my online programs and my one-on-one private programs. Often times when I’m on my follow-up calls with my patients or I get emails from them I often hear that it’s so difficult to stay motivated and keep and to keep going when they keep getting these fail positive pregnancy tests month after month. I get it. It is not easy to stay positive, it is not easy to stay motivated, stay consistent and persistent when keep getting these failed cycles.
So, first and foremost, I want to say that I don’t want you to put your life on hold. Often times I hear from patients that they are not going on their vacations, they’re not socialising, and they’re not doing this and so on. Don’t put your life on hold. Your life has to continue and you need to recognise that that’s important and an important piece to that process, so don’t isolate yourself.
2) Actually, quite contrary to isolation, I want you to lean on your friends and family. I want you to spend more time you’re your friends and family and cultivating those relationships and building those relationships. It is really interesting. There was a research study done that showed that 75% of Americans say that they are not satisfied with their friendships; 75%! That’s a huge number. There is something wrong with that. Actually, in 2010, there was a research study that was done on, I think it was, 300,000 people that showed that those individuals who had good relationships and strong relationships actually have healthier and longer lives. So, it is not just your relationships and cultivating those relationships makes you feel good, it makes you live longer and have a better quality of life. So go out and nurture and cultivate those friendships. Don’t you’re your family for granted. We often do, but cultivate those relationships as well. There is nothing more than the relationships you have with your family. So spend tie doing that as it will mean a lot to you and they will be there to support you when you need it the most.
3) Stay active. By that I mean you don’t have to always be running, but stay actively involved in your community; maybe join a book club so you can socialise with other people that you haven’t met before; maybe do a different sport like soccer or softball or something like that. “I love dancing,” so go out and take dancing lessons and meet new people in a different setting; 1) you’ll get some exercise out of it, but 2) you’ll also be socializing and building those relationships. Make sure you get out and spend time you’re your friends, not just at home but out and about. One of my favorite things is hiking; so maybe join a hiking club and get out in nature and kind of satisfy both of those things.
So 1) don’t put your life on hold;
2) lean on your friends and cultivate those relationships;
3) stay active; and #4, which is maybe more important than any of them, is volunteer. It might sound strange, but when you give to your community, you feel satisfied. Everybody says it over and over that when you help somebody it is nurturing to your soul. So go out and volunteer. Find a cause that you believe in and that you want to give back to and spend some time giving back and volunteering in your community. Build those relationships and have fun doing it. That’s how you survive month after month.
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Hi Marc, I have been watching your videos all day in hopes of finding an answer to my problem. My doctor can’t seem to explain it and says it could be hormonal. My husband and I have been trying to become pregnant for some time. Approximately a year and a half. I was on hormonal birth control for three years. Out of those three years I spent the last one of them being very sick due to a switch from the birth control I was using to similar sister brand. I thought it would take some time for it to settle with my system so I continued to take it even though I was progressively feeling worse. Soon I was crying myself to sleep at night because my head hurt to much to lay it down on my pillow or to even brush my hair. My skin hurt to much to be touched, I was constantly sick to my stomach, and being intimate was almost always painful. When I went in to see my doctor he switched it to a different brand only for me to have another reaction and so another brand was tried. I was told it was the last one and if it didn’t work then we would need to try another method. I became worse still, so I took myself off of it because we were ready to try for a child and I couldn’t take being so sick. After about eight or nine months my body felt like itself again, but with a twist. A week before and sometimes during my period I will feel like an ice pack has been sat on my ovaries and uterus. It will feel cold to the touch in that area and is very difficult if not impossible to warm up. Sometimes a hot water bottle will help, but after a little while the cold returns and with it so does my period. It comes at its scheduled time. It’s almost text book. It’s 28 days unless I’m stressed and then it’s late, but it lessons or adds days in next month or two until it makes up for the lost or gained time. This has now been going for the past year and it’s not getting better, though it doesn’t appear to be getting much worse. I have taking a lot of things out of my diet even before I found your videos on the web. It has made my period it’s self better, but not helped the cold. If you have a moment of your time to post a response or recommendation, even an I don’t know, I would appreciate your time and effort immensely. Thank you and may God bless you.